What makes a leader? I’m often asked this question and find myself reflecting on it almost weekly. One of the inspirations I look to when considering this mystery is the work of Simon Sinek and the idea of leadership outside of business. Outside of a titled role. His book, Leaders Eat Last, speaks to the small everyday actions people take that transform them into leaders. In his book, Sinek says, “Leadership is not a license to do less; it is a responsibility to do more. And that’s the trouble. Leadership takes work. It takes time and energy. The effects are not always easily measured and they are not always immediate. Leadership is always a commitment to human beings.”

There is no shortage of leadership resources online, in print and live, including talks, conferences and workshops. So why is it so challenging to develop as a leader? The secret is intentional practice.

It started with the president climbing up onto the top of the telephone pole and one by one we all did it over a two-year period. Our company developed the most amazing corporate culture as a result. People were excited and afraid, and I learned a lot. Feeling awkward with my bum sticking out in the air trying to climb up, I remember the facilitator asking me, why are you worried about how you look trying to get up onto a telephone pole?

How do I maintain my friendship with my former peers now that I’m their boss? How do I help them accept me in my new role as their leader? These are questions that frequently come up with my coaching clients and perhaps are questions you’ve struggled with yourself, maybe even now. If you’ve come from a team that had great chemistry and an exceptional collaborative culture, you may have also developed close friendships with your team. After all, we spend a great percentage of our lives at work. Transitioning to a new relationship once you are promoted can be tricky.

No news is good news. Or is it? As I was debriefing a leadership 360 assessment with a client recently, she expressed her relief to finally receive some feedback. This Vice President never receives feedback from her leader or her team, and wonders if no news is good news. The 360 assessment reminded her that no news doesn’t feel like good news and instead leaves her regularly wondering if she’s having the impact she wants.

The last big thing I did before the great COVID lockdown in March of 2020 was taking the stage at my university, I felt a great sense of responsibility. I had the opportunity to mentor from the front of the room in a way I haven’t before as the keynote speaker at my university for International Women’s Day. While I told my stories of success and hardship with hopes to inspire other women of all ages, it was important for me to acknowledge some of the many mentors who have helped, supported, and inspired me along that journey. In sharing my story, I wanted to help other women see that they are infinitely powerful and will overcome any adversity that comes their way. I also wished to inspire both men and women to mentor, support and champion more women.

I feel it like a pit in my stomach and my heart shrinks. Maybe you feel it like a warm flush that passes over you or perhaps tunnel vision takes over for just a moment. This feeling is the result of a mistake, a misstep, a screwup and it's yours. These are some of the ways we all feel when we’ve made a mistake.

Nelson Mandela said, "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." Words greatly influence our thinking and leaders must take great care in the words they use. They aren’t just words, they create emotions in response. The words you use are crucial to clear, effective, and kind leadership.

I want to help, and I’m not sure how… I joined a texting chat group with four other women also wanting to help, but not sure how. What happened over the next 3 weeks was some of the most rewarding moments in my life.

I’m coaching a Vice President right now who is brilliant. He is likely the smartest person in the company and it’s getting in the way of him being an effective leader. Team members are struggling with bringing ideas to him because they feel he’s already got it all figured out anyways and won’t listen. He’s working a lot of hours and regularly has to fix errors made by his team because of time sensitivity, but also their lack of critical thinking to solve complex issues. The team can’t manage without him and they don’t seem to grow their technical and decision-making abilities.

Think about the mentors you have in your personal support team. If you’re like many of the leaders I work with, you might find that you once had a number of mentors, sponsors, and champions around you that have faded from your life or taken on different roles over the years. You might find the mentorship department in your personal org chart quite empty. I want you to know this is normal and something I find with a large number of the senior leaders I coach. But, why does this happen?

As an executive coach who is also a parent and former teacher of 25 years, September has been an opportunity to create a vision for the next ten months.

In our North American culture, September is a month that many of us approach much like January; there are new beginnings, hopes and transitions that many of us anticipate, sometimes with more than a bit of dread.

Fresh notebooks and pens; opportunity.

New responsibilities and transitions; change.

Why is change so hard? As an executive, you see the need for change so clearly and the impact the change will create has a clear line to achieving your strategy. When you share the news with your teams, people ask questions that can feel frustrating. They push back on the change and challenge if it’s really necessary. Why can’t they see what you can see so easily?

There’s enough never time. I’m too tired at the end of the day. I just can’t justify taking more time away from my family to do something for myself. I just don’t enjoy it. I lost interest after doing so much of it in the past. We have countless reasons why we don’t exercise, and we use the same ones for why we don’t read.

So many of the leaders I’ve coached struggle with time to coach the people on their teams. Intellectually they know that taking time to coach their team members is the right thing to do, yet it still doesn’t happen. Why? Time pressure, results pressure, relationship pressure, pressure, pressure.

We use this word, ambiguity, and I got curious about its definition. The definitions I found included unclear, inexact, indefinite, and uncertain. As I reflect on the current global and local challenges, they’re the most uncertain we’ve experienced in decades and I’m reminded that leadership is all about uncertainty and ambiguity. The current climate highlights this more than ever. Leadership is never about certainty, by nature is it moving into the unknown. Creating what has never existed before, making decisions where there are no right answers and navigating relationships – human beings are inexact by nature. The illusion of certainty has been pulled away like a veil.

“I need your help exploring how to approach a town hall and sharing tough news with our business unit”, asked a client. “I want to send out a message to my team after downsizing today and I’m not sure how to say what I want to say”, said another. “We’re dramatically changing how we do business and I need to share it with our stakeholders. I’m concerned that I won’t be clear or that I’ll come across as insensitive in how I share this news” worried a third.

Yesterday, I had the honour of witnessing a leader allow emotion to come up in a webinar talking about the impacts of the COVID-19 situation on his business. He teared up as he talked through having to lay off some of his employees. I know firsthand the ups and downs of emotion that we’re all going through. Disbelief, anger, sadness, frustration, loss, grief and more. I also have had great moments of joy, love, laughter, and connection with family, friends, and colleagues.

I remember my first two mentors distinctly.  They came within months of one another at a time I most needed some new perspectives.  First was Mr. Rainsforth, a high school teacher who taught Automotive, a grade ten elective I took for something different. As a result of his desire to acknowledge my strengths when no one else could see them, I ended up taking three years of Automotive with him and remember his words whenever I question my strengths.  Next came Eric, a youth program leader at the YMCA who had the ability to connect with teens with empathy, listening and challenge who showed me a love for hiking, camping and introduced me to sport in the outdoors and how to push and challenge myself.

A few weeks ago, I found myself with dozens of women leaders of all ages in three different cities on a cross country tour in partnership with the Women’s Executive Network. We were talking about authentic leadership, confidence, and imposter syndrome. Most of these women could identify with feelings of imposter syndrome and how they acted on these feelings prevented them from being seen as authentic and confident leaders and left them out of opportunities to contribute. Surprisingly, 70% of both men and women experience feelings of imposter syndrome.