Giving Everyone a Seat at the Table
A few weeks ago, I found myself with dozens of women leaders of all ages in three different cities on a cross country tour in partnership with the Women’s Executive Network. We were talking about authentic leadership, confidence, and imposter syndrome. Most of these women could identify with feelings of imposter syndrome and how they acted on these feelings prevented them from being seen as authentic and confident leaders and left them out of opportunities to contribute.
Surprisingly, 70% of both men and women experience feelings of imposter syndrome. Given the research behind this, then why is it that women act on those feelings differently? Women tend to hold themselves back from putting their hand up for promotions, asking for raises, negotiating salary, and asking for more challenging projects and work. They tend to keep quiet in meetings unless they are certain that their words add value to the conversation and often have regret after the meeting when some of their peers contributed what they were thinking and dismissed as not important.
I come from a background in HR where professionals have been working towards having a seat at the table for many years. I’ve learned that you can’t ask for a seat, you are invited when you provide great value as a thought partner for the rest of the team. So how does a leader develop more women into those seats? One Vice President of Human Resources that I coached struggled with credibility with her executive team because she was seen as always advocating for the employees. When she shifted her identity from an employee advocate to serving the executive team, she still looked at the employee rights and perspective but started framing her concerns and questions in relation to the organization goals and objectives. She started seeing how the decisions around HR impacted the success of the organization and stopped advocating for what felt good and instead for what was in the best interests of the organization. Within a few short weeks, the executive team began actively seeking her input on important business decisions.
To get more women a seat at the table, it’s important that their seat not be a token one. How are you developing the women around you to provide exceptional value and encouraging them to speak up or ask questions, so they are engaged when they are at the table? How are you supporting them when others dismiss their thinking or disagree with them? Here are some things you can do to develop the women leaders around you:
Meet with them regularly to discuss their development and talk about their strengths and what you see in them.
Push them to take on stretch projects, acting roles and put their hand up for lateral transfers and promotions even when they insist that they aren’t ready.
Call out their good work with specific details to help them see the value they contribute and push back on them when they downplay their value and deflect the credit to others.
Encourage them to take on leadership roles by joining special committees and then leading or chairing those committees.
Nominate them to leadership roles including leading presentations and other public speaking opportunities big and small.
Challenge them to ask a question at each meeting. Not a token question, but one that naturally bubbles up for them and pushes the critical thinking for others.
Become a champion and advocate for women leaders in your organization actively promoting their work and supporting their promotions.
A seat at the executive table is one that is earned and provides great value. As men and women senior leaders, it’s up to us to support the development of confident and authentic female leaders and to help them push past feelings of self-doubt. Without that support, we’re doing everyone a disservice, missing out on their valuable contributions.